The other day I watched this GREAT sermon on how to approach dating and being single as a Christian. I’m going to summarize and expand upon some of the great and Godly points that I believe need to be shared!
1. “Become the person the person you are looking for is looking for”
To put it very bluntly I’ve heard countless Christian women describe their ideal Christian guy… Someone who is centered on Christ, challenges them in their faith, kind, loving, a leader, bold for Jesus. But the question becomes, would the guy you’re describing be interested in someone like you? I don’t mean physically, or emotionally, but I mean spiritually. Don't get me wrong, it's not about REACHING some specific "level" of holiness, it's about MOVING towards God and continually giving him a bigger and bigger place in your life. In other words, not a destination, but a life course. So I’m telling you to KEEP those high standards, but first set those standards for yourself. God would never want you to settle, so before you focus on finding the right man, become active in moving towards God!
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
When BOTH people are running towards God if one falls the other will pick them up and help them get back on track; verses the person who falls pulling the other down with them!
2. Start preparing for a relationship NOW!
If you look at the bible you may not find countless ways on “how to FIND the right person.” But if you look at the bible and ask, “how do I BECOME the right person,” suddenly the pages of scripture just illuminate! In marriage, all of your greatest and worst traits will be tested and tried beyond what you could imagine, so it’s the time NOW to start working to display the standard for love God has set!
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I challenge you to take each of these characteristics of love seriously, and focus on developing each of these one at a time. Honestly, an internal transformation can only take place if you pray and ask God to give you the strength and ability, then go out and practice, practice, practice. I know I have work to do on EVERY single one of these in my own life!
3. Don’t expect a man to be the key to your happiness
I am the first one to say I’m completely GUILTY of this! I can’t even tell you how my much my boyfriend (Nasry) has put up with because I am looking for him to “complete me” or to be the solution to all my emotional problems. The first thing he will do is tell me exactly that, that I am looking for my happiness from him before God, which will instantly make me really mad, of course! It’s so true that if we are not finding our satisfaction in Christ, then we will blame and point fingers at the people closest to us and say they are the ones messing up and causing the problems. Every time we put something before God we are making that thing an idol in our life, I believe this is the best definition of sin. We do this with everything from boyfriends to appearance, to attention; the list goes on and on.
Psalm 37:4 “Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Seek for your desires to be filled by God first, so your boyfriend/husband can be the biggest added blessing!
Here is the full sermon: http://www.northpoint.org/messages/the-new-rules-for-love-sex-and-dating